Let’s set the scene, it’s Sunday evening, you’ve had your roast dinner, perhaps done a long walk with your dog and now you’re trying to relax, in fact you tell yourself, you should be relaxing, maybe you could watch something on Netflix to window before another week starts.

But instead, you’re lying wide awake in bed, replaying every conversation from the after work drinks on Friday.

"Did I talk too much about that work thing? They seemed quiet after I said that. Was that joke okay? Oh god, I definitely overshared about…"

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

Here's what I want you to take away from this:

Deflecting compliments isn't humility. It's not protecting you. It's reinforcing the belief that you're not good enough.

Every time you dismiss praise, minimise your work, or redirect credit, you're training your brain to reject positive evidence about yourself.

And over time, that creates a version of you that can't see your own capability, can't internalise your strengths, and can't believe the good things people genuinely see in you.

You're not arrogant for accepting a compliment. You're just being accurate.