One of the most important things to understand about why you can't switch off is that your nervous system doesn't clock off just because you do.

Why "Just Take A Breath" Isn't Enough

The advice to take a breath and walk away in the moment is well meaning, and to be fair, it can help in the short term. But if the pattern keeps repeating, managing the moment isn't going to fix the problem.

Because the problem isn't the moment…It's everything that happened before it.

True change comes from understanding what's depleting you in the first place, the beliefs, the patterns, the reasons you find it so hard to stop giving even when your tank is completely empty.

Let’s set the scene, it’s Sunday evening, you’ve had your roast dinner, perhaps done a long walk with your dog and now you’re trying to relax, in fact you tell yourself, you should be relaxing, maybe you could watch something on Netflix to window before another week starts.

But instead, you’re lying wide awake in bed, replaying every conversation from the after work drinks on Friday.

"Did I talk too much about that work thing? They seemed quiet after I said that. Was that joke okay? Oh god, I definitely overshared about…"